Sometimes before you can move on to larger concepts you need to make sure of the basics. So before we go any further, let's define a few terms.
What is a date?
Is it a date when Jim asks Sally to go have a coffee with him?
Is it only a date if it is with someone for whom you have romantic feelings?
Is a “just friends” date a date?
According to Merriam-Webster a date is the oblong edible fruit of a palm. It is also defined as an appointment to meet at a specified time; especially : a social engagement between two persons that often has a romantic character.
I like the definition one of the experts in the DivorceCare series used. Logging time together communicating emotional energy is a date.
One lady said “if it takes you longer than five minutes to pick out an outfit, it's a date!”
I would like to suggest to you that for our purpose, learning to date like a Christian, we should define a date as simply an appointment to meet at a specific time. This definition fits in best with the concepts that I feel lead to thriving as a single.
As for the “often has a romantic character” part of the definition, let's forget about that for a while. One of the main reasons I have seen people mess up in their season of singleness and endure needless heartbreak is that they are much too quick to get romantic with someone.
I hate to sound so unromantic, especially since I am such a romantic at heart, but the time for romance is much further down the line.
The way I see it, going on dates is not for romance, but for learning about a specific person, or the opposite sex in general, and learning about yourself, your likes, your dislikes, and how you feel around different types of people. In the process you may end up discovering some surprising things about yourself, the opposite sex, and what type of a person you really want to be around for the rest of your life.
So, the first step in dating like a Christian is to understand what a date should and should not be, and to put dating in its proper context.
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